The Falling Wallendas

I would like to introduce you to a group of very special people in our lives -- our upstairs neighbors, The Falling Wallendas. Many of you may have heard of The Flying Wallendas, the famous high-wire circus family. Living in the apartment above us we are "fortunate" to have their less-talented cousins. At least, that seems to be the most logical explanation for all of the thumps and bumps we hear coming through our ceiling at all hours of the day and night -- they are hard at work, practicing something, but not succeeding. Or at least that is what we tell ourselves because we can't think of any other reason for that much sustained activity and noise.

Their daily activities include: a lot of running from one end of the apartment to another (pummel horse or parallel bar gymnastics?), some yelling and crying (trainer instructions followed by a gymnist's disappointment at a failed routine?), some stomping around in high heels on the linoleum in the kitchen (the circus ringmistress, directing the acts?), rhythmic pounding on the floor (some sort of percussion section?), and a daily cheesy theme song which is usually played around 2:30 in the afternoon at varying volumes (loud, then soft, then really loud, then normal, all before the end of the song). There is just no way that any group of people could create this much ruckus during the course of their normal lives.

The noise usually begins around 6:00 a.m. (even on weekends) with a loud thump directly above our bed. We assume this is an eager gymnist, hopping out of bed to begin his or her morning practice. The practice sessions seem to continue throughout the day, with a few breaks around lunch time or in the late afternoon. Activity resumes in earnest around dinnertime, and often lasts well into the early hours of the morning. Because the schedule seems too exhausting for one person, we are assuming that the Wallendas practice in shifts, allowing everyone an opportunity to hone their skills on the various gymnastic equipment they must have installed upstairs.

Visitors to our apartment have added their own perspectives to our neighbors' activities, including:

"It sounds like they just dropped their machine-gun and it is spraying bullets around their apartment."

"I think they've added a couple of ponies to their act."

"They must have very high ceilings up there because it sounds like someone is doing a free-fall and their parachute didn't open."

"I believe a 500-pound man just fell off the top bunk."

Next Wallendas post: Gifts the Wallendas have left for us on our balcony.