Sunday, July 30, 2006

Speaking of chastity belts (which we weren't)...

Folks, I’m here to talk to you about the humble zipper. I just learned something about the zipper this week that I never knew. Apparently, some zippers have sliders (that’s the little thing that you pull to zip or unzip the zipper) that lock, preventing the zipper from being unzipped while the slider is in the “locked” or “down” position. No more “XYZ” situations for me!

I found out about this unexpected zipper technology while I was talking to a friend of mine at work. I had just gotten a new pair of pants and was telling her that I liked them very much, but complained that the zipper kept sliding down part-way. She asked me if the slider was in the locked position or not. “What are you talking about? Locked?” I asked. She explained that many zippers on pants have the locked/unlocked feature to save you from embarrassing situations and told me to check my own zipper slider. I did so (delicately, in the middle of her cubicle) and found that it was indeed in the up or unlocked position. Ah ha!

After I learned about this locking feature, I made sure to lock my zipper after every trip to “see a man about a horse” and had no further problems. I was so excited about my new knowledge that I told a couple of my friends about it and found that none of them had ever heard of it either. I tried to find a page that explained the technology but came up empty-handed. It seems that you either know about it or you don’t and, if you want to have it explained to you, you need to learn to just accept things on faith instead. It will not let you (or your zipper) down!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Happy, Happy, Dane, Dane!

Denmark is the happiest country in the world. The United States is the 23rd most happy, out of a total of 178 countries. Not too bad, but lower than I expected. Now I feel sad. Oops, I think we just slipped to 24! I’d better hold it together.

With fire, is how he cuts his hair

Les and I recently saw an independent film about the Shakespeare & Co Bookshop in Paris, France. The name of the movie is “Portrait of a Bookstore as an Old Man.” Although I felt like I was watching Part 2 of a movie I had never seen Part 1 of (in that it seemed like a lot of information was just thrown out there with no explanation, as if you already knew about these people, this history, this author, this artist), there were many shocking, laugh-out-loud, and tender moments. I thought, “If I were just a bit more literary, I bet I would really enjoy this movie a lot.”

So, all you avid readers and smart people out there -- check out this movie if you get the chance. I promise that you won’t be disappointed.

Beauticians, on the other hand, should probably steer clear. The 91 year old owner cuts his hair by lighting it on fire and then snuffing it out before it gets too short. I think that would be painful to watch if you were a professional. On the other hand, my friend got THE BEST eyebrow grooming from a gas grill that was a little too-much-gas/too-late-lit. Foomp! But they looked really good!